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Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Nervous Wreck

I'm turning into one.

I've been working on my own -off orientation - for two days now, and I can't stop thinking about my patients when I get home. And I keep thinking that I've missed something significant and very bad things are going to happen to them because of it. I know this isn't true. Even if I did miss something, there are other people taking care of them after I leave that will catch it. I might get written up, but the patient will be ok. I hope this gets better as I get more used to the work. When I'm not forever trying to catch up and make sure I've done all the paperwork I need to; when I know I've told the next nurse everything significant in report, maybe I will be able to actually sleep when I get home.

The worst part, though, is that when I do remember stuff that was important that I forgot to pass on, it's never on my drive home, or even within the first few hours after I get home, when I can call in and pass it on as a late report. It's usually a day later, when it becomes something I should have done that I can no longer correct. Like this morning, I remembered not having done 24 hour chart reviews Monday night. Something I missed that I can no longer fix.

I'm not a bad nurse; I take care of my patients. I am fairly good at advocating for what they need. I just wish I could do it without this gnawing at the pit of my stomach every day before I leave for work.


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